the air up there

while at work this morning, i kept thinking "what can i blog about next?" you see my sewing machine is not sewing correctly (something with the tension, i think) and i will not have time to do any really fun cooking..... so what else is there? then i remembered a question i am constantly asked, a topic that people never tire of! my job as a flight attendant. over the past 7 years, i've had plenty of funny things happen and i am always asked about them. i have a very short memory, so this is just a list of the stories that stick out.

in random order, funny stories from a flight attendant:

1. one of my dear friends was about 7 months pregnant when we got a layover in cancun. as young spring breakers would pass us by on the beach they would do a double take. she decided to yell after young men to their shock and amazement 'be careful! this is what happens on spring break!'

2. i am particularly fond of seniors, so i feel a little guilty telling this one. one elderly woman realllllly had to go number 2. she could not possibly wait in line for the bathroom up front, so she walked to the vacant lavatories in the back. she however did not make. she left a pungent aroma through the whole cabin and left droppings all the way down the aisle.

3. a few nights ago i was doing the beverage service and i asked a girl about 6 years old what she wanted to drink. very politely she responded "i will have some french fries please".

4. a senior male flight attendant was talking to a few passengers about the beautiful beach they would soon be arriving at. he told a busty looking woman about the "titty blue water" instead of the "pretty blue water". the owner of our company was sitting right behind her.

5. one of the flight attendants was about to leave on a voluntary furlough. on her last flight as we welcomed our passengers to their final destination, we also announced that she was leaving us to go on tour with david hasselhoff as his backup dancer. the passengers took it very seriously and all congratulated her on their way out.

6. one trip down to cancun was loaded with young spring breakers. one row had three college linebackers packed in together. the guy in the middle got incredibly sick and needed more than just his sick bag, he needed more of a large trash bag. being fairly new and being simple minded, i began to laugh so hard that i couldn't even speak. luckily another flight attendant was able to take care of him.

7. before we had a safety demonstration video, we had to do it manually. one of our favorite activities was trying to get the flight attendant out in the aisle to laugh since the are facing the back and everyone else faces forward. joining in on the fun, newly hired jessica started shaking her butt and dancing like a fool to get the flight attendant to laugh.....completely unaware that all the passengers were now turned around looking at her instead.


so there is my list for now. i have plenty more stories to tell, but how many can you really take? maybe some of my friends have stories to share???